I have grown to trust him with my heart, my body, my past, my present, my feelings, and now I trust him with my future.
I, like many women, prayed for my soul mate; the “one” that God had reserved for me. I’ve always had this unshakable faith that just as I was preparing myself to be someone’s wife, he too was allowing God to prepare him to be my husband. This was my exact prayer filled with emoji’s and Duffy quotes (Ciara wasn’t the only one praying for her God send of a husband. Lol)
March 28, 2013 12:29a
He will be:
-What God needs him to be for me
-He wont judge me and will love me to my core
-He will see in me all that God has possessed me with, embrace it and love it
-will be faithful to God and me
-Will have no children
– will stick by me til death do us part
-interesting and spontaneous
-destined for greatness
-someone that i am head over heels for
I will be:
-FAITHFUL
-all that God wants me to be
-determined to make a life for myself
-focused on me
-humble
Who’s for me is for me
Not on my time but God’s time.
But i do know i will be better than where ive been.
No ones stepping stone take all of me or leave me alone
It was cheesy and poorly written, but most importantly God heard it. Mind you, tons of things happened in between March 28th, 2013 and April 20th, 2016, but I like to say it was all preparation for this moment.
When I met Christian my mindset toward men was (to say the least) “CLOSED FOR BUSINESS”. There were a few flings, flukes and flops in the wake, but my attentions were solely on myself. I would blow off dates or “free food”,as they say, to takes naps or simply because I loved being on my couch. I had also relinquished my will for a mate to God, resting in the fact that He knows what I need and when I need it.
So, I had no intentions of being in a relationship anytime soon.
When I met Christian, however, he was a breath of air that I didn’t even know I needed to catch. He approached me presumptuously, with wit and humor, and immediately disarmed me. In our first encounter (which was about four hours long) we extensively discussed our relationships with God. What stood out to me most was that he mentioned that the telltale signs of someone’s walk with Christ was by the fruit it bears. And let’s just say I’ve been eating a Publix fruit bowl ever since that day (lol). But seriously, if that wasn’t a foreshadow into the rest of our relationship, I don’t know what would be, but of course, only time would truly tell who I was really dealing with.
Christian had a strong spiritual life that I’ve never had to coach or encourage – if anything he’s encouraged me to read more often than I already did. But I learned more about the nature of who he was when we were at odds, than when things were happy-go-lucky. When we were upset with each other, I noticed he was still respectful and enduring under scrutiny. He earned my trust even when he never gave me a reason to distrust him.
He is an awesome problem solver, so in situations that looked like it would be the end, he always had a solution or a workaround. I would sometimes go into a disagreement preparing for the worst because I was expecting for him to respond like most other typical men I had dated in the past would in the same situations, or shut down and be avoidant, but he, surprisingly, would be prove me wrong every time. I never felt like was too much for him to handle.
From the beginning of our relationship, he was intentional, but never entitled. He never wavered in his plan for our progression and growth, but he never demanded that I ever be anything more than who I was, or made me feel that I somehow needed to qualify for him to marry me.
Things were never formulaic with us. Our relationship established very organically and moved just as fast. We moved in together within six months of being together! We asked each other if we thought things were moving too fast and both replied, “nope!” Ultimately, we always did what felt right for us. The only times things went left were when we listened to other people’s advice. The cutest moment was when he asked me to move in with him and I was hesitant because of various reasons, but when I got to his place he had created a PowerPoint presentation complete with charts and graphs for all of the reasons we should live together and assured me that we wouldn’t be shacking up forever!
In general, he is a great decision maker, which balances my impulses. He eloquently vacillates between scrutiny and pulling the trigger, which reinforces my trust in our direction. He is ever so supportive of every decision I make and always provides feedback that enhances the decision or explore other options. “What I really want to do” is always his primary concern, never what I settle for. All these characteristics and many, many more have proved themselves time and time again for the last three years.
I have grown to trust him with my heart, my body, my past, my present, my feelings, and now I trust him with my future. I never had to hide, even in the times that I have. God always confirmed everything I’ve ever felt that he would be and that’s how I knew he was the one.
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